STOP the Comparison

Do you constantly feel the grass is greener on the other side of the fence? Other women you work with or maybe the other school mum’s or your old school chums, THEY seem to have it ALL! They get the great career breaks, have the perfect children, partner, teeth, wardrobe – well you get the picture.

This is something I see constantly, it’s endemic amongst smart professional women, they torture themselves by comparing themselves and their lives to others, finding a plethora of perceived shortcomings by comparison. Smart Intelligent, beautiful women with much to give the world, are playing small, selling themselves short and beating themselves up, moment by moment, across the globe. It’s heart breaking to witness.

Comparison is the death knell to your enthusiasm, your dreams, your vitality, self confidence and self belief – don’t you think it’s time to STOP IT!

Who would you be without it? What if you could just be present to your own magnificence and be able to celebrate the same in others? How different would your day to day experience be if you stopped mentally berating yourself for your perceived shortcomings and just got on with living your big full beautiful life?

AND Guess what?

While you’re popping those women up on your perfection pedestal, the same game is going on inside their heads too. Give it up, NOW, it’s such a waste of your valuable time and energy! It’s a waste of YOU! You have much to contribute to this world, stop robbing us of your magnificence.


Who would you be if you stopped comparing yourself to others and started using the energy to live your life, on your terms?

Start to Break the Cycle

1. Ask 3 -5 people closest to you to provide you with a list of 5 or more things they admire about you or see as your positive attributes. Choose a variety of individuals from those you love to those you lead.

2. Consolidate the list and pop it somewhere you can see it. Put a couple of your favourites on a card in your wallet, so each time you go to pay for something you’re reminded of how fabulous you really are.

3. Notice each time you launch into comparing yourself to someone else, be GENTLE with yourself and just remind yourself that you’re choosing not to do that any more. All you need to do is acknowledge that you’re seeing something fabulous in another person which now becomes your opportunity to acknowledge something fabulous about you too.

It’s takes a little time and commitment to break the comparison cycle and it’s well worth the effort. (Another article that may help you can be found here before you head off to check that out leave us your insights below)

Share the Joy

We’d love to hear your strategies and insights around the topic of comparison and how you find opportunities to embrace your own unique fabulousness!

Please  leave your comments and insights below


  1. Jen on June 16, 2015 at 2:34 pm

    In my workplace we use a number of person-centred resources – one of which is a one-page profile which is created by both staff and the people we support. It is a simple one pager that has three main areas – what people like and admire about me, how I like to be supported and things I wish for. This is an amazingly powerful tool giving insight into every person in the organisation. It used in many situations , including sharing with groups prior to meetings – letting everyone know beforehand a little about the other attendees.
    The first step to create a one page profile is to ask those around us what they like and admire about us. So your blog triggered me to share this wonderful exercise which can be applied to our personal and professional lives.

    • Lenore Miller on June 16, 2015 at 3:27 pm

      Hi Jen,
      What a great opportunity for each individual to be affirmed by others as well as being able to express what they require in terms of support and share their aspirations. It’s wonderful to hear that this resource is then used in such a constructive way. Thanks so much, I really appreciate you sharing this with us and I hope others who read your comment choose to give it a go.

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