You’re sitting at your desk, there are a bunch of files spread around, you have multiple browser windows open, your email alerts keep popping up on the bottom of the screen, screaming for your immediate attention, you have voice mail and texts to check, the phone keeps ringing and you’re constantly jumping between tasks, and that’s just at the office. At home it’s much the same, your wardrobe needs culling, there is washing and folding to be sorted, groceries to be purchased and a million other small things that you never quite get around to doing. Not to mention the attention you’d like to give to your kids and your significant other. The thought of all of this is enough to exhaust a woman (or man for that matter)!
It’s true, life is different than it was in our grandmothers day, with technological advances and modern day convenience the demands on our time and attention have increased. We have many ways in which others can contact us email, mobile, landline, voicemail, skype, social media – it’s all so immediate, and we often have both personal and professional channels of communication. This all creates one big superhighway of communication that demands attention and it’s ALL heading your way, at least that’s how it feels.
On top of this are all the other demands on your time and attention, the daily tasks of every day life. One of the biggest issue I see in my clients lives is the HIGH level of toleration they’re experiencing day in day out.
What do I mean?
I think of life’s tolerations like having a small stone in the bottom of your shoe, it’s annoying but you’re choosing not to stop and empty it out because you don’t think you have time for that. So you keep walking around tolerating the discomfort, rather than take the relatively simple action of removing the small stone. Tolerations are a LOT like that.
In reality most professional woman are living with an abundance of tolerations – a full inbox, a wardrobe that just doesn’t cut the grade, maybe it’s over full of clothes they don’t enjoy wearing or that don’t fit, but they don’t get around to rectifying the situation, household tasks that feel like they’ve gotten away from them – dust, bathroom soap scum, washing and folding, maybe they’re tolerating relationships that aren’t working for them, a job they don’t enjoy, it could be any number of things. They tend to feel drained, tired, under valued and maybe live with a feeling of never being able to get on top of it, what ever IT is for them. There’s no freedom in any of this, is there? No wonder you don’t feel motivated or inspired.
I can hear you asking, but Lenore how do I get out from under the weight of all these things?
Well here are some practical steps to get your started
Step 1: Make a list of everything you’re tolerating, at home, at work, in your relationships, self care tolerations – the things you tolerate on a regular basis. Really go for it – come up with at least 10 (I get my clients to come up with a list of 50 and we go to work on sorting them)
Step 2: Now look at your list, really take it in. These things are zapping your energy and motivation which hinders your forward movement in both your personal and professional life, just like a small stone in your shoe. Really connect with what this is COSTING you. Energy, enthusiasm, love, joy, peace, success, well being, vitality?
Step 3: Schedule time to take care of each toleration, for example wardrobe not working for you? Schedule time to declutter it, get rid of EVERYTHING that does not fit, is shabby or that you don’t wear. You may want to then plan time for a shopping trip or better still get a stylist to co-ordinate your wardrobe and help you shop for the items you require. Imagine how it will feel when you go to get dressed and you ALWAYS have the right outfit to wear.
Just take one toleration at a time and deal with it, you’ll quickly notice how much more energy you have. Caution, living a toleration free life can be addictive, it feels so good.
Question: What if you led a toleration free life? What would it be like to never again feel disorganized? What level of relief do you think you’d feel? AND How much more energised and motivated would you be?
1. Start making your list of things you’re tolerating
2. Share the action you’ve planned to take as a result of reading this blog post. We’d love you to come back and give us an update about how it feels as you make progress.